let's stop avoiding difficulty
let us just engage it
To amuse a friend of mine, I once went to see an astrologist. I’m ambivalent about star-gazing as life coaching but I recall the man took one look at my chart and said, “Wow. Your program is . . . intense.” In this, the moon-man was prescient and spot on since my road’s been strewn with both love and landmines. I’ve visualized the highs and written about the lows, but one thing I haven’t been able to do, however, is side-step adversity altogether. That option is just not in my stars.
Truth be told, even with the pain and disappointment, the upsets, loss and grief, I’m glad it hasn’t been easy. I’ve seen what happens when we avoid being challenged and being changed—we become rigid, small, risk-averse—and I don’t want to be that person. So I keep the faith that in the most arduous of times, this fundamental truth is at work:1
Changing our habit of avoiding difficulty to a habit of engaging it creatively may be the single most important factor for awakening potential.
This wisdom comes from Zen Priest Norman Fischer and he knows, as many of you do, that engaging with challenge purposefully, wholeheartedly, and in friendship with ourselves, ends with an astonishing feat: The difficulty turns into a benefit.
Join us for an intimate workshop and learn how to turn difficulty into wisdom.
Through a mysterious blend of neurobiology, emotional alchemy, and divine intervention, it seems to be a natural law that when we dig deep and embrace friction, somehow we find new strength. The harshest winds can still shift in our favor, leaving a luminous gem in our hearts and hands if we can keep them open long enough.
Even when it’s hard, even when it hurts, there is always something we can do: Engage the pain, embrace the discomfort, walk along the fault lines. There IS instruction in each difficulty and if we surrender and meet it, that wisdom will make itself known. So let us roll in the divine dirt like the tiny teacher in this video, trusting it will serve ourselves and the world when all is said and done.
Love,
Sun
A slight variation on Fischer’s writing from Training in Compassion: Zen Teachings on the Practice of Lojong.
The comment concerning the almighty giving us as much as we can handle is a nice thought; however, I know many who have crumbled in the face of adversity. I know men and women who are consumed with treatable mental and physical health conditions. Alcoholics slowly killing themselves. Pot smokers who check out on the couch for decades. Everyone will encounter challenges. My sociopathic ex wife caused a multi year MDD, during which she tried to kill me several times. I am in a safe place now and I feel joy frequently.if you are among the few who do the work and leverage your adversity add that to your reasons to love yourself. Many do not.
Thank you Sunni. There are soooo many reasons why this is a valuable piece to read. I will share with a group of coaches next week when we discuss the value of taking on challenges, the benefit of going through hard things. If anyone can write about this topic (in this moment of time) with some authority, it is you. Much love.