you are progressing just fine
embrace the mystery
I had a very rowdy friend in college and as a duo we were dubbed ‘Double Trouble.’ When we were together, it was guaranteed that drinks would be spilled, karaoke would ensue, and at least one unsuspecting dude would be pool-sharked. We joked we should make tee-shirts that blared our life motto: “MORE. NOW. FASTER. FREE. LOUDER.”
I have fond memories of that time and place but I see our motto now with different eyes. Even while it was (partially) in jest, we were reflecting an unwholesome orientation that’s common in the West: Gaining. Given all that we’re told and sold, modern people seem destined to believe that acquiring is what came here to do and that achievement is how to measure a life. From that strange view, we make slanted assumptions. We assume, for example, that progress is linear, that it points upward, that it’s contingent on attainment and that, for it to count, it should be visible and quantifiable. We worry that somehow we’re not “living our best lives” if we’re not becoming [insert superlative] every day. I’m not one to suggest that we lose our ambition—just that we hold a simultaneous truth:
Perhaps a more accurate and liberating view of “progress” is one that embraces its fullness. Things can progress quite well in reverse. They can progress as they fall apart. A person can make progress laid low with illness. We can improve when utterly lost. Progress can happen when we stop trying to change. Surrender can be a powerful feat.
When we slow down and pay attention, we sense that to be alive is to be engaged in a curious karmic dance, one that’s subtle, fluid, and co-creative. Every moment, like it or not, choose it or not, we are being made and re-made, done and undone. Refinement is endless in the web of life, and metamorphoses that matter are often invisible to the eye, unconscious to the mind, and incalculable for the heart.
We are not the boss in the process of becoming.
We can try and check boxes, try and make sense, but our assessment of what’s truly being forged collapses when we approach the original face.1 As we work to make meaning of our lives, etching a unique offering into existence, may we give ourselves grace, a little self-compassion, when we strive but can’t see what’s shifted, when we effort but can’t point to a triumph.
Sometimes the most progressive act is to hold the question of gain unanswered, and allow ourselves to marvel at not-knowing, maybe never-knowing, what gifts are being given beyond understanding, what burdens taken away. From this view of progress, we embrace a numinous truth: that even when things on the surface idle, stall, swerve, or reverse, nevertheless—mysteriously, miraculously, karmically—we are progressing just fine.
The Inner Confidence Workshop: Our October 28 workshop is open for registration! We have lovely, supportive souls attending. Include yours?
Free Mini-Course: “Your Power Within”: We made a miniature training, available for instant download. It gives you a sense of who we are and how we work. Enjoy.
“Original face” is a term in Zen Buddhism that points to our true nature, our essence, what we call at the Center, “Deep Self.” It has many names across spiritual traditions. This post shares a plethora.
I’m so excited to join the 28th workshop! The last one was life changing.